Rice & Gravy

Arranged Marriage: Human Rights Violation?

As a Japanese single man, I occasionally get an offer of a meeting with a Japanese woman, arranged by my relatives (usually my aunts!). My relatives are hoping that the meeting would develop into something more "intimate" and that eventually I'd decide to get married with that woman. This is so-called Omi'ai, or an arranged marriage, a kind of a modern version thereof, that is still exercised in Japan.

Whenever I get such offer, I could say that "sorry, I'm gay!" - and end of the story. But, I usually condemn my relatives in that they underestimate my ability to find my soul-mate. Whether I am gay or not, my point is pretty clear: Why do I need someone else's help to find the one that I want to be with? I personally find it human rights violation in a sense. As I've mentioned this to them so many time, I no longer hear from them these days!

But, what I want to say here is the fact that gay men in Japan, and perhaps everywhere, are getting so much pressure to get married with a woman. This is one indication of oppressive heterosexualism that gay men need to bear throughout their lives. By the way, as the current gay marriage movement develops, will I be then pressurized to get married with a man?

Homeless, Youth and Gay

The 2006 State of the Homeless, prepared by the Coalition for the Homeless, reported the record rise of homelessness in New York City. It particularly noted the increase in the number of children seeking shelters in the city and that the average number of children in NYC shelters each night amounts to 13,616.

Based on surveys from LGBT sources, about 40% of homeless youth are LGBT youth. Although there could be a difference between children and youth in terms of their definitions, this means roughly 5,000 LGBT youth will be on the street or in shelters in NYC tonight.

Late last year, I went to a meeting of organizations that provide shelters to LGBT homeless youth in NYC. Actually there are only two organizations (The Ali Forney Center and Sylvia's Place) in the entire city and they only offer less than 25 beds (as of end last year). As a result, most of the LGBT homeless youth end up in other shelters that accommodate primarily straight, adult homeless individuals; but there have been some incidents in some shelters where LGBT homeless youth were physically abused/raped by other homeless individuals in the shelters and even by staff members of the shelters.

But, what is more surprising is the fact that there has been a minimal level of support to LGBT homeless youth from the LGBT Community itself. While LGBT adults should know a variety of hardships that LGBT youth often need to endure, such as rejection and violence perpetrated by families, peers and teachers, it is very ironic that they do not pay much attention to this issue; rather it seems they tend to put more efforts in "hot" issues like gay marriage these days.

Postcards from Buster: Gay Parenting Harmful to Kids?

In November last year, one of my favorite TV programs, "In the Life," featured an episode of a Lesbian couple with three children living in Vermont who was to be introduced in the PBS' educational program called "Postcards from Buster." Buster is a cartoon rabbit character who visits a family and introduces how they live: it is meant for educating kids on diversity by introducing "different" types of families, ethnic wise, religious wise, etc. PBS apprently wanted to feature a family of gay parents with kids, but this episode was disapproved by the Education Secretary, who I understand oversees PBS (?) and who thinks that a two-mom family poses "harms" to other kids in the US! This whole story presents multiple layers of issues that makes us think: from the Gov't intervention in public broadcasting to, of course, the very question - "is being a gay harmful to kids?"

Link to "In the Life" , Link to a letter from Lesbian mothers featured in "Postcards from Buster" , More info on this topic from wikipedia